An Honest Confession

At this time in the morning I should definitely be asleep but my brain appears to have woken up and gone to thinking.

As I sit here, I am thinking about everything that’s coming up and the excitement of this week and about my Christian friends and what we’re all doing now or soon and it makes me laugh and cry!

To start one of my best friends is off to Chile with OM, another is in Kenya, a third is training to be a pastor….. Actually many of my friends are training around this field, my church is changing and growing and I couldn’t be more excited about all of these things…

But inside there is a small part if I was honest – and my mother would leap for joy – that would say I’m a little bit jealous! I know jealousy is not good but hear me out.

Now I know that this year God’s not sending me abroad or to bible college and that I am not to stay here as He begins to moves through my land like never before – ironic huh – but there’s a small part that wishes I was.

Now perhaps in a year I’ll also be off to bible college & another time I may go and do a mission abroad short-term. But the thing is that right now God doesn’t want me at home doing what I’ve do in the same rough location and the same people as I have been for the last 10years. God doesn’t want me in Chile or Kenya now nor in September. God doesn’t even want me in bible college come september. He wants me in Lancashire. This isn’t a new thing.

Who am I to tell Godwhat he has for me isn’t good enough? I can’t mainly because I believe it’s good enough. If and when God wants me in bible college or abroad and it wouldn’t surprise me if he did- he’ll let me know but right now I need to be where he’s called me because my journey is just as exciting and purposefull to God!

So I can feel a little jealous about how exciting everyone elses plans sound but I am excited for them, proud of them and excited that God is using me and my friends for his glory.

Focus on the goal and don’t be distracted by the other runners and how they are running, though all the runners run to the same destination together, each runner’s race is unique designed for a specific purpose for such a time as this!


Ester 4:14 – And who knows but that you were appointed for such a time as this!

This link is very fitting to end!!


~ by jemiluce on May 12, 2013.

10 Responses to “An Honest Confession”

  1. I’ve always found encouragement in this quote by Jim Elliott (martyred missionary), “Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”

  2. You are right when you say that your mother is doing a little dance of joy…..even a big joy because as you know very well, all she wants is that you find your life in Jesus and don’t limit all that could have for you in the future. You are right where God wants you to be for now but I am so pleased that you are opening yourself to the possibilities that God has for your future because I believe the plans He has for you are bigger than you could ever hope for or imagine. Your time will come and now is the preparation time for all that is to come. Dream Big little one. Dare to dream BIG!

    • Thanks. I always knew this wasn’t it. At the end of the day God has given me a heart for the UK. We don’t all need to go abroad to share God. I think for me I respect my mum’s opinions and I love her heart for me but I don’t want to do something because others want that for me but because God calls me to it

      • Your joyful dancing mother says…..Amen to that ‘I don’t want to do something because others want that for me but because God calls me to it’.
        All I want for you is to follow your Dad’s advice to ‘Be the Best you can be for Jesus’ and to not settle for less than God’s best for you. There was a time when I worried you would be distracted by a relationship or someone else’s dream. I just want what every mother wants for her daughter- for you to be happy and blessed and to not rush into a limited life. I made my choices based on fear and not on my relationship with God. I just want more for you – especially when I see God’s anointing over your life. I don’t want satan to rob you of that. You are such a beautiful girl – inside and out and I couldn’t love you more or be more proud of you. I can’t wait to see all that God is going to do in and through you. I will always be honest with you and in the spirit of honesty, I’m glad I get to keep you for just a little longer before you fly away to live the rest of your life. I will do what I have always done from the earliest days of your existence. I will trust you to God who has always looked after you so much better than I could.

      • Aww thanks Mum! I’m not worried. I will settle down but not quite yet… how could I – its just me :P. I want to go on short-term mission I’ve always said that but it’s not for me to move because God has more important things. Plus if Revival’s coming to the UK I have no intention of missing out on that!!!!!! You’ll always be my mum and I will always love you whether or not I agree with you. I have plenty of time to settle down but only when God sorts that out! I love you xxx

  3. Thanks so much for this honest post. I believe that a persons mission is between their own two feet and everyday those feet will take you to people who need to know Jesus and see the gospel in your actions etc..
    This blog is so inspiring, i’m blessed to have found you. God bless 🙂

  4. “each runner’s race is unique designed for a specific purpose for such a time as this!” . . . Yes ’tis true, plus the continuing lifelong thrill of noticing each tiny detail God weaves from our past into our future ❤

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